Facing fear

Posted on August 24, 2011

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Its 10:46 AM, here in Thailand, I am at school even though I have no class today. Sitting amidst annoyingly noisy people in the library my mind floats above all of it and into the abyss. I think about what my future holds after I graduate from a 2nd tier American college in December, will I be able to separate myself from my dreams of being a Journalist and the reality that it is extremely difficult to find a job these days, especially when recruiters look for experienced candidates. “Experienced” – maybe I should not have gone to college at all and spent those four years gathering that experience and then maybe I could have had the job.

I am a 3.7 GPA student with a degree in Media Communications and a minor in Psychology, I have a departmental scholarship that was awarded based on academic excellence and was recent informed that I would be graduating with Honors. I just said that in one breath.  Does that impress you enough to hire me?

I know students who have crashed and burned when they stepped outside into the ‘real’ world, they tell me stories of disappointment and rejection, I sympathize but inside I am scared. I allow myself to believe that I could have a better luck than them, but I can only hope.

I am starting to tidy up my resume, make it seem impressive enough to hold the reader’s attention while he’s skimming through hundreds of similar papers. I believe that I have the ability to stand out from others, I know my strengths but can he see it.

My recent internship in the summer was quite a success, the editor was nice enough to give me a one page column for my articles in two issues, I couldn’t be happier. Here I’d thought that I would be running around doing coffee errands but this was a good surprise, I am very thankful, there you go, here’s my “experience”.

Taking in all that this last semester has to offer, armed with a degree I enter the ring. Round one, the bell goes and the world around me stares in shattering silence, fearless, I charge head on; here I go.

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